Not sure how this will be played out, but I thought I would put my thoughts and feelings down in hopes that I can get out of this ugly depressed funk that I am experiencing lately. I know and understand that I need to 'buck up' and get out of this mood, but as I keep telling my DH (darling husband) 'It is easier said than done'.
This past week I have been on the bottom track of the 'roller coaster' as you will. I can't seem to pin point the reason why and when I try to 'pep' talk myself out of it, I seem to fall in deeper. I start crying at the drop of a hat (or pen or whatever seems to fall at that point), while my poor DH sits and worries and tries to 'fix' the problem (as all men like to do). Work is hard, I am trying to focus on doing a good job, only to find my emotions building up and trying to take over. To surpress everything I have been resorting to Diet Cokes and Chocolate Donuts, which at some point tends to feed the sad, fat side of me, adding to the deeper fall. At home I think that going and working on a quilt project will help, but I find myself piddling around sewing a few pieces then just sitting there with no energy to do anything. Minutes later I turn off the iron, sewing machine, TV and lights, leave the room closing the door behind me without much success in there.
This is probably really hard to read, but like I said earlier, I am hoping that putting down my thoughts and feelings I might be able to release the pressure and find my way out of this state I'm in. Thinking back to when I felt this bad, I would curl up in my cozy chair and read for months and not do anything... nothing at all... not even answer the phone. Hopefully it doesn't go there.