Friday, March 4, 2011

Depressed? Probably

Not sure how this will be played out, but I thought I would put my thoughts and feelings down in hopes that I can get out of this ugly depressed funk that I am experiencing lately. I know and understand that I need to 'buck up' and get out of this mood, but as I keep telling my DH (darling husband) 'It is easier said than done'.
This past week I have been on the bottom track of the 'roller coaster' as you will. I can't seem to pin point the reason why and when I try to 'pep' talk myself out of it, I seem to fall in deeper. I start crying at the drop of a hat (or pen or whatever seems to fall at that point), while my poor DH sits and worries and tries to 'fix' the problem (as all men like to do). Work is hard, I am trying to focus on doing a good job, only to find my emotions building up and trying to take over. To surpress everything I have been resorting to Diet Cokes and Chocolate Donuts, which at some point tends to feed the sad, fat side of me, adding to the deeper fall. At home I think that going and working on a quilt project will help, but I find myself piddling around sewing a few pieces then just sitting there with no energy to do anything. Minutes later I turn off the iron, sewing machine, TV and lights, leave the room closing the door behind me without much success in there.
This is probably really hard to read, but like I said earlier, I am hoping that putting down my thoughts and feelings I might be able to release the pressure and find my way out of this state I'm in. Thinking back to when I felt this bad, I would curl up in my cozy chair and read for months and not do anything... nothing at all... not even answer the phone. Hopefully it doesn't go there.

4 comments:

  1. Kari! This is one of those posts that are impossible to respond to...

    All I can say is that I feel for you, and know you can pull yourself out of this. No, I wouldn't presume to give you suggestions as to how. But I will remind you that long ago, and far away, you signed up for this! And you knew what you were doing -so it must be worth it.

    One other point: I have found that maple bars do better for me than chocolate donuts.

    MMM

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  2. Kari, no it doesn't sound like you CAN pull yourself out of this. This sounds like true depression, not just the "blues" that people CAN pull themselves out of. This sounds like something more serious -- a lot more serious. You can't cure yourself of this without medical intervention any more than you could cure yourself of diabetes, cancer or a heart attack. PLEASE go see a doctor and try an anti-depressant. I can speak from a spouse's perspective that you need to do it. I'll message you more in an e-mail. But don't delay!!! This is NOT normal, and it's not your fault.

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  3. Kari: I agree with the Brown Family. I chose my words poorly. Better said would be that this is something that you can overcome-not pull yourself out of. I agree that help sometimes is exactly what is needed. Thanks to the Browns for pointing out my error.
    Godspeed.

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  4. Thanks to both of you for your concern about me. I am feeling much better, but if I do continue down the depressed path I will seek medical help. Right now I believe that I let my 'blues' get the best of me and I was at my lowest when I posted this.

    ReplyDelete

Please let me know what you think and how I am doing. I would love to hear from you!

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